Camels and Horses

-originally written on 10/23/06-
*This was a comical post I made on one of her fan forums. We were talking about Mickie being WWE's Diva Of The Day, and someone mentioned how much Mickie liked horses, and that if I wanted to win her heart, I should learn to go horseback riding. I answered that post and then went into a theatrical play scenario of me trying to convince Mickie that I like horses*

Well let me just say that Mickie is my diva of the day every day! :cool:

And I'm not learning to ride a horse to impress Mickie. I don't trust horses... I suspect they are going to bite at any second!

Of course, I imagine I could always fool her into thinking I like horses. I could get a pony, and claim it's a horse; just a more compact and sporty version. Or maybe when she asks me to go riding with her I will bring a camel.

Mickie: "Jesse... Wolf ol' buddy, that is not a horse. That… that’s a camel!"

Wolfie: “No it isn’t.”

Mickie: “Yes it is. It’s like seven or eight feet tall, it’s got a gigantic neck and two humps on its back.”

Wolfie: "Hey don’t make fun of my horse… fine it's a camel. But hey, they're bigger, smarter, better, and faster than horses."

Mickie: "I don't know about better and smarter, but they're not faster than a horse."

Wolfie: "They can run at twenty five miles an hour, for a full hour. They can walk at nine miles an hour from dawn till dusk. And they can sprint at forty miles an hour. They can haul three hundred and thirty pounds comfortably, and a thousand pounds at maximum.
My camel can go weeks without water. And if I ever begin dying of thirst out in the desert, I can always tap one of these humps for some water."

Mickie: "Ok, first, that's disgusting! Secondly, those humps are fat deposits; they contain no water. Third, there is no giant stretch of desert land anywhere in Virginia. Oh, and did I mention, that's not a horse!"

Wolfie: "Whoa, it's ok there Sand Stallion, don't let her get to you. You're every bit as good as her horse or any other horse around here."

Mickie: “You’re afraid of a five and a half foot horse, but not of a seven foot Dromedary camel!?”

Wolfie: “Camels have pretty eye lashes, and they ain’t got those long mosquito-like faces like horses.”

Mickie: “Jesse, tell your camel to stop spitting on my horse!”

Wolfie: “Tell your horse to quit laughing at my camel!”

Kenny shows up.

Kenny: “Hey Hun, look at my new horse. Now we can go horse riding together. See, I’m not afraid of horses.”

Mickie: “That’s a rhinoceros!”

Kenny: “Umm, no it’s not.”

Mickie: “Yes it is. It has a giant horn sticking out of its face!”

Kenny: “It’s a unicorn… alright fine… it’s a rhino. But hey, rhinos are some strong beasts, they’re even better than horses.”

Wolfie: “Not better than camels.”

Kenny: “Yes they are. They’re stronger, and run at a top speed of thirty miles an hour. And they’ve been around for forty million years.”

Wolfie: “Upstage me you bastard!”

Mickie: “Uggg, I’m outta here. You two play with your animals.”

Wolfie: “Now look what you did. You chased my girlfriend away. And hey! Tell your rhino to quit poking around with that horn.”

Kenny: “That’s not your girlfriend, she’s mine! And my rhino will quit poking at your camel when your camel quits spitting on my rhino.”

Wolfie: “Camels spit on others to issue a warning to stand down and accept that he’s the higher rank. Show ‘em Sand Stallion!”

Camel spits on the rhino, rhino gets really mad, begins snorting and stomping its paw.

Kenny: “Watch it boy. Easy easy! Watch it! Careful!”

Wolfie: “Uh oh Sand Stallion, I think you pissed him off. I told you not to spit on him! Run Sand Stallion run! Use that extra ten mile an hour advantage! Use it and use it now boy! Be fleet of foot my Arabian friend and run like the wind!”

Camel runs, rhino chases.